Coffee with Kel

Building relationships, encouraging hope

kelly

Volunteer Advice…

By 1 Comment

I wonder how many of you that read my blog serve in volunteer capacities? I very much enjoy volunteering and I have for a long time. There is just something very fulfilling about giving of time and talents, especially when it’s for something you really believe in and support. I find that the satisfaction in volunteering can be tremendous. Knowing you’re giving without receiving (a paycheck, at least) really means you ARE receiving something very valuable in return. Volunteering is awesome and I’m very much enjoying that I have the volunteer opportunities that I do. For instance, I just started working with children on Wednesday nights at our church. It’s only an hour and a half each week and I only just got started recently, but I really enjoy. It’s also nice that I get that time with  Mariana since she’s in the group. I also enjoy volunteering in other ways at other places too — it’s something near and dear to my heart.

There was a time, however, when I got myself way too over-committed. It was entirely my own fault, I’ll take every ownership on that, but I was stretched too thin and I burned out on it. Given that I’m a people pleaser by nature, I would find it difficult to turn away opportunities to help when they were presented to me. After all, I’ve been a stay at home mom and there wasn’t full time job (then or anymore) demanding forty hours a week of my time. I felt that I really SHOULD be volunteering, so I did. For a long time, I really loved it. I was active with the elementary school PTA and found other ways to stay occupied within the school. That was incredibly fun and rewarding. Being able to be involved where my girls were learning was just the best! And, I wouldn’t take back one single moment of it. However, other things started to pile up on me and I found that I wasn’t balancing as well as I would have liked. Have you ever heard that saying “If you want something done, give it to a busy person?” That was me. I was so busy and working to keep all the plates spinning in the air that if you wanted something done, hand it off to me because I would get it done and keep on moving right along so that nothing dropped. I didn’t realize I was adding to the yoke, so to speak. After all, most of what I was doing was still very enjoyable and I liked keeping people happy, so I just kept on keeping on. That is, until I realized one day that I wasn’t doing everything with a joyful heart. When I was volunteering for some things, my heart wasn’t all the way in it. I was basically phoning things in to keep up what I had let myself get started doing. I was quickly becoming disillusioned with things, honestly. I realized then that I had to take back some of my time. I had to relinquish some of what I was holding onto and let someone else take it up instead. I had to learn to say no and not add more to my plate. That wasn’t the easiest thing for me to do because, as I said, I’m a people pleaser. If I said “no”, would people be mad at me? Would I upset their expectations of me? This was difficult to process, but what I came to realize is that it’s really and truly okay to say NO when you need to do that. You also don’t have to give an explanation. Your time is yours and what you do with it needs to bring you fulfillment to the degree possible, so if what you’re doing isn’t lifting you up, then it’s time to reevaluate. And, that’s just what I did. I cut back my volunteer commitments, but still stayed involved to the degree that worked better for me. I learned to be kind, but confident, in saying “I can’t commit to _____ at this time” and I saw that, on the whole, that was respected. My personal stress levels went down. I had more of myself to give at home. I had some ME time again. And, I still got to volunteer, but just not to the point where I was stretched entirely too far for my own comfort and fulfillment. It was the right thing to do and I am better off for having come to that decision.

Taking back my time didn’t hinder any processes either. Nothing I had worked on came to a screeching halt when I backed away from the charge. Instead, someone else was given an opportunity to step in and bring something new to the process. Sometimes I think that things have been done a certain way for so long that change is needed. I don’t ever want to get so entrenched in one way of doing things that I unintentionally create a hindrance to the process. When I felt the burden on my heart to step back, I believed that it was time to let someone else take the reigns. What I’ve seen has been good. And, the changes I have made have been good. I enjoyed being in PTA leadership, for instance, but now that I’m in Mariana’s last year of elementary, I am very much enjoying the role of “just” being a room mom. Every cog in the wheel plays a vital role, right? I’m still giving my time and I love that, but I’m also loving seeing positive changes that have come along since I was in leadership. It’s all a part of the process – doing your part while you can and moving on when it’s time. Believe me, there is always something else to be done and always another opportunity there for the taking. I very highly doubt we will ever see the day when volunteer opportunities are scarce.

If you’re finding yourself drowning in extra responsibilities or you just don’t find joy in giving of your time in certain ways, don’t ever feel badly about saying no. First, your time is precious and if you are spread too thin, you’re not really always able to give the best of yourself anyway. Establish reasonable boundaries that allow you to say YES as much as you can, but also to say NO when it doesn’t work for you. I encourage everyone to volunteer as you’re able and to give of your time to organizations you love and support. Absolutely. There is such a need out there and volunteers are often needed more than we even realize. That said, do what brings you joy because in doing that you will give more than you ever thought possible. If your heart is truly in what you are doing, you’ll give AND receive more abundant happiness.

To summarize, I’ll say this — life is better when we share the workload and it’s also too short to spend doing things that don’t fulfill your soul. So, absolutely find a way to give of your time and talents. Find an organization, school, church, or service that needs volunteers and give it a shot. By all means, give back as you’re able. But, also…take care of yourself. The greatest good you can give is when you’re giving freely and with a happy heart. Say YES when you can, but don’t be afraid to say NO when something just don’t work for you. As cliched as it may seem to say, I fully believe that when you do something you love, the “work” aspect seems to divide and the joy seems to multiply. So, give of your time, but don’t hesitate to set boundaries either.

Cheers to the volunteers,
Kel

 

What Are You…Wednesday

By Leave a Comment

Happy mid-week, y’all! It’s mid-week of a holiday week, so I’m sure some of us are thrown off as to what day it actually is today. Since Monday was a holiday, then Tuesday kind of became like Monday and now it’s already Wednesday, but it seems like a week until Friday. Whaaaaaat?! LOL! Surely, it’s not just me, right? About the time I get my weeks all straightened out, we’ll have a week long break in February and I’ll be asking what day it is again. Zero complaints, bring on the winter break — just keep the cold somewhere else.

Today is “What are you…” Wednesday on the blog, as you may know from the past few weeks. I’ve gotten some great feedback from y’all and I hope to see that continue. My hope  in restarting the blog was to have a place of community and conversation, so thank you for participating and encouraging.

What Are You Happy About?

I just bought a cute sign for our family room that says “Not every day is a good day, but there is something good in every day.” As as family, this is something we’ve always tried to be mindful about and to teach our girls. We have gotten out of the habit now, and we need to get back into it ASAP, but we used to all go around the table before the blessing at dinner and each say something we are thankful for each day. We would remind our girls that even if we happened to have a bad day, it’s always good to find something to be thankful for every day. In other words, we should be mindful of our blessings no matter what the circumstances. I think this is a good philosophy to have, honestly. Tough times and bad days are going to come, but there is always something that we can say say THANKS for and always something that brings even a bit of happiness into our lives.

I want to hear from YOU about what you have to be happy about these days. I’m going to challenge each of us to come up with a list of ten things – small, big, and everything in between. Here’s my list in random order:

  1. I am happy that we are able to send both girls to summer camps that they love! Macey’s sleep-away camp is truly TRULY her happy place and she counts down the days all year until she gets to spend a week at camp. We got her registration processed over the weekend, so she’s thrilled about that! Mariana will do two weeks of day camp at her dance school and that makes her incredibly happy as well. (Bonus happy – this week if we purchase one week of dance camp, the second is free. WOOT!!)
  2. I am happy that the Atlanta Falcons are playing for the NFC Championship this weekend! I’m a long time Falcons fan and I’m loving how well they’ve done this season. I would love to go do the game this weekend, but with it being the very last Falcons game in the Georgia Dome, tickets are outrageous. So, I’ll watch from the comfort of home, I’m sure, and cheer on our Birds to send the Packers packing.
  3. I am happy that tomorrow is hair cut and color day. Let’s just say that Christmas is done and I don’t need to be walking around with “tinsel” highlights in my hair much longer. LOL! Plus, cut and color day just rocks!
  4. I am happy that we’ve had springlike weather here lately. Georgia is so fickle, weather-wise, and we went from an ice storm to 70 degrees for the high in less than a week’s time recently. But, you’ll not catch a complaint out of me because I like it warm. Granted, I know not to get used to it because frigid February is coming, so I’ll just enjoy the warmth while it lasts.
  5. I am happy that Mickey got a new devotion for us to do in the evenings. We are reading through the One Minute Love Language Devotional before my bedtime and I really enjoy that time. Besides the fact that a one minute devotion is just my speed right at bedtime, I just love that Mickey picked that out and it opens good conversation for us.
  6. I am happy that I’ve gotten some deep cleaning done at home recently AND have done a bit of redecorating in our family room. Decorating is not my forte at all, but I like it when I can actually get things to come together like I want them to. Just a few changes have made our family room look like a whole new room and I just love how it’s coming together.
  7. I am happy that our annual beach trip with our friends is booked already! The four girls have already started planning which makes my heart so happy. Terri and I have been friends most of our lives and it just really thrills me to no end that our daughters are on the same path to being lifelong friends.
  8. I am happy that we got our new kitten in late December. Jovie is a great addition to our family. She’s very much in the kitten phase and she’s either into mischief or sound asleep. It’s not unusual to find her swinging from curtains, tackling Roscoe or Dasher for a wrestling match, or trying to sneak onto the table to get our food. (Spray bottles are everywhere in our house and she’s getting better about her table manners. LOL) But,it’s also not unusual to find her curled up in one of our laps or in our beds. She purrs so loudly when she’s got our attention. And when she’s really and truly asleep, you can move her any way you want and she’ll keep sleeping. She really is a sweetheart and even Dasher has come around to thinking she’s kind of okay.
  9. I am happy that Mickey and Macey start soccer again soon. Mickey loves coaching and Macey loves playing on this team. It’s just a great combination, honestly. Most of the teammates from the fall season are returning, so it should be another great season. I’m eager to be back cheering on the sidelines too.
  10. I am happy that I’ve been able to start blogging again AND that I’m sticking with it. I’m also happy that I have support and encouragement along the way. THANK YOU!

There are more, but I’ll stop with 10 for now. What about you? What are some of your happies? Will you share some here? Again, I do encourage everyone who reads this to list at least ten things you have to be happy about these days. You don’t have to share them here if you don’t want to, but why not write them down somewhere as a reminder? I would love to see some shared here too. I know not all days are the best days, but I think life is a whole lot sweeter when we take the time to be thankful as we go along.

Thankful,

Kel

 

Yes, I Still Iron…

By 5 Comments

Yesterday was a holiday break from school for the girls in observation of MLK Day. Including the holiday break and the ice days, that was the fourth Monday in a row with no school for them. When I say we could all get used to that, believe me…we could. But, alas, all good things must come to an end and next Monday will be another 6am wake-up call. Yet another reason to be thankful that my coffee can be brewed and ready by the time I find my way downstairs to the kitchen. Ahhh!

Both girls had friends over on Sunday evening which meant they were happy, but thoroughly exhausted, yesterday. Macey was able to have a pretty laid back day at home, but Mariana had setting rehearsal for her spring dance show. (Let’s just say that a certain 10yo dancer beauty got a much needed early bedtime last night.) Since we had the day off, I knew I needed to catch up on some laundry yesterday, with Mickey’s help, and especially knock out some ironing. Yes, ironing. I still do it. Whenever I’ve mentioned this to some people I get that look of “Are you nuts, woman?!” And, maybe I am, but I can’t not iron.  I’m not over the top about it because I’m not quite so picky about, say, work-out clothes, though I’ve been known to press a t-shirt before I put it on to go for a walk. But, only if it’s super wrinkly and looks like I slept in it. I also don’t get overly fanatical about things and iron our bed sheets.(This is mostly because our sheet sets come out of the dryer looking amazing most of the time.) I do like nicely pressed pillow cases though. Is that weird? And, is it really so weird that I still iron? 

I have always ironed. Even when I was single and working full time. Back then, I would sometimes get industrious and iron all my outfits at one time and have them pressed and hanging in the closet waiting for me. That was RARE though. Most mornings found me in a scramble trying to press a shirt on the floor so I could get presentable and scurry out the door and into the morning commute traffic. Logically, I always wanted to be more prepared, but logic didn’t always win out back in the day. Just keeping it real here, y’all. Even so, I didn’t skip out on ironing even then. I thought everyone ironed. Until I met Mickey. He didn’t iron a thing. NOT ONE THING. All of his clothes were “wash and wear.” Wait…what? I didn’t realize that was a THING. Come to find out, what he would do is wash and dry his clothes and the very second the dryer dinged, he would immediately hang them up. Just like THAT. And, sure, they were passable. They weren’t IRONED, but they were okay. Still, that wasn’t a system that would work for me. First of all, I was almost never around when the dryer went off. Clothes had to do time in the washer and dryer. A load was usually thrown in before I left for the day and either tossed into the dryer when I got home or re-run the next day if I forgot them. I wasn’t the busiest person ever after work back then, but just wasn’t home every time the dryer finished. So, I always wound up with clean, wrinkled clothes that needed to be ironed. Meanwhile, he was content to grab his from the dryer, hang them, and go on with his life. Simple, right? Well, I broke that not long into our dating relationship. I decided he needed to up his game from just (wash and wear) pale blue shirts and khaki pants to more professional looking shirts and ties. I was on a mission and TJ Maxx came to the rescue back then with an awesome sale on men’s shirts and ties. He was soon set with  more professional attire, but…guess who got to iron them? THIS GIRL! I’ll be honest, I liked it. I felt all domesticated. I was taking care of my MAN, y’all. He was looking so spiffed up and getting compliments at work. I could iron for that, for him — absolutely! And, I dropped those wash and wears right to the Goodwill too. Woot! All of that was great and, guess what? He still likes his nicely ironed clothes to this very day. Here’s where I confess that I don’t iron for him quite as often since I do the girls’ clothes now too, but I still take care of his stuff now and then. He’s actually learned to iron quite nicely and he doesn’t even sideways glance at the wash and wear section at the store anymore. Much.

So, back to yesterday. Macey and I had been invited to go kayaking with some dear friends, but I had a pain in my lower back that I did NOT want to aggravate, so I asked for a rain check for us and stayed home to catch up on some ironing. I have a system where I do the girls’ clothes and hang them outfits together on hangers. It really just makes mornings run more smoothly when all they have to do is go to their closets and pick a hanger. Seriously. I know I can’t do this forever and I won’t, but for now I’m opting for the simplicity of mornings with this system. Anyway, I was working on sorting clothes to iron yesterday when a monster headache came out of nowhere. Darn sinuses and the headaches they produce! So, I took some meds, beasted out the sorting of the laundry, had a bite of lunch that Macey made (delish!), and fell out for a much needed nap with the warm mist humidifier an my essential oil diffuser going too. Clearly, I needed that nap because I slept so hard I was actually DREAMING. A good two hours later, I came to and still had a piece of that headache, but felt well enough to finish ironing.  Happy to report that the girls’ school outfits all got done and hung in their closets. Given the events of the day, I’m calling that a win.

Almost every time I iron, I wonder this — for those that DON’T iron, what do you do? How do you get clothes to look nice and presentable if you don’t iron them? I’m asking in all seriousness, not one bit judgy, please know that. I’m genuinely curious. While I am good with teaching the girls to iron and keep their clothes looking nice, I also want them to have flexibility in their life skills. NOT ironing is not something I am familiar with doing, so I wonder what the alternatives are, exactly? I should say that when things look rough out of the dryer, it would drive me nuts to try to wear them that way. They have to be smooth looking. What do y’all suggest as alternatives?

The crazy thing is that I actually enjoy ironing. I will often knock out piles at a time and watch a tv show while I’m getting it all done. I’m a huge dork for saying this, but it just gives me satisfaction to get our clothes ironed and looking just so. BUT, if there are good ways to have clothes looking fabulous without ironing, I would sure take those suggestions. What say you, good people?

Have a wonderful day,
Kel

Friday Favorites

By 2 Comments

Recently, Mickey and I were talking about our blogs and how he wanted some feature type posts for his. I had been thinking for awhile about “Friday Favorites”, so I shared that idea and he liked it! In fact, he did his first Friday Favorites post today, so you can check that out too. In the meantime, I also wanted to share some of my favorite things. I’m not going to be nearly as collected in thought as he is because, well,  I like random. That’s more my style.

Some of my favorite things in random order are:

Coupon Mom is THE BOMB when it comes to couponing, y’all. (And, I swore I was going to quit saying “the bomb” years ago, but it seems to be back. So, I’m either hip again or really out of touch. Let’s just roll with it.) When I shared coupon tips a little over a week ago, I mentioned the site then. I pretty much use this site weekly. I used it yesterday to compile my Publix shopping and coupon list. Even though it was a stock-up shopping day, I still saved 49% total using coupons. There are other helpful sites out there, I know, but CouponMom is my go to and I’m thankful for the guidance on savings.

Vanicream is, hands down, the BEST moisturizer for me! It has no dyes, fragrances, parabens, lanolin — nothing that skeeves me out, in other words. I like that it’s a good “clean” product and it works amazingly well for me. In the winter, i just use the cream because my skin tends to need more help in the way of being moisturized due to the wind and central heat, etc. Often, in summer, I will use a blend of the regular cream and the lite lotion. Any way I use it, I love me some Vanicream! You can find this at big box stores, pharmacy stores, etc. It’s the best I’ve used and I always recommend it.

McCafe’ Coffee. What would this post be, on a blog with coffee in the name, without a coffee recommendation? Here’s where I admit that I’m not absolutely true to only one brand of coffee. I liketo try different ones. I discovered McCafe awhile back and it’s so good! I was buying bags, but recently found canisters which is even better for me because it lasts longer, of course. I tend to like a good hearty cup of coffee that can stand up to my stevia and creamer. This medium blend does just that. Mmmmm! So tasty!

Downton Abbey is a show I could watch over and over again and never ever get tired of seeing. It’s January and that usually means the return of Downton, but…not anymore. The final season aired last year. So, to get my Downton fix, I’m re-watching the entire series via Amazon Prime. I don’t care how many times I’ve seen the episodes, I always find something new to love about them. I have always had an affinity for basically all things British, so this wonderful series is a delight to me.

Amazon Prime is some of the best money we spend all year. Second day shipping on many items, plus streaming and MORE?! What is not to love?! They had me way before Downton, but being able to watch the series again is another PLUS for Prime! Not to mention, they make all my birthday and Christmas shopping incredibly easy. Cheers to Prime!

**********

I think five favorites is good for today. Save some for another time, right?

So, tell me…what are some of YOUR favorite things? For instance, what is a health/beauty product you would recommend that I try? What are your favorite shows or movies? I want to hear about them! And, I’ll share more favorite things on another Friday as well.

Oh! And I don’t get any endorsements or paid product placements on this blog. I’m open to product reviews and such, but I haven’t gotten into that yet. I just posted these things because I like them.

Happy Friday and have a WONDERFUL weekend,

Kel

What Day Is It?

By 1 Comment

Is it just me or do long weekend weeks mess y’all up too? I loved having two bonus days this week since school was canceled for Monday and Tuesday. No early morning alarm, no rushing here and there, just nice days home. I’m a fan of bonus days. When they are happening, that is. Then, reality sets in again and I lose all track of days somehow. For us, reality came in the form of a 6am alarm yesterday morning. To give credit where it’s due here, Mickey’s watch is our alarm, so it’s not so much a blaring screech as it is a polite beep. But, still, anything that breaks you out of a nice sleep at six in the morning isn’t exactly the epitome of polite. There is no snooze happening here either. The watch beeps and the routine starts. We have been doing this so long that our mornings tend to go smoothly. Mickey and I work together to get breakfast on the table, then I pack lunches while he clears dishes, he drives Mariana to school first and then I drive the middle school carpool later. It just works. Thankfully, we have a great system in place and we have back-ups for when we need them. We are very fortunate in that way. But, still, when that beep sounds at 6am and it’s still DARK outside…I’m not even going to act like I hop out of bed and sing a happy song. It’s more like I stumble to the bathroom, fumble to the kitchen, and finally start to emerge from the haze when the first cup of coffee makes its way into my system. Coffee, for the win!

Back to what I was saying originally – long weekend weeks mess me up. I love them, but after regular routine starts back again I’m off a day or two. Today, for instance, does NOT feel like Thursday. I don’t know what day it feels like, but it doesn’t seem like Thursday. Regardless of how it feels, I have to convince my tired brain that today is grocery day and I have to get the grocery list and coupons ready because we are running so low on lunch supplies that these girls may have to hunt and gather in order to have lunches tomorrow if I don’t drag myself to Publix. I’m mostly kidding, but not by much.

I find that the first day back after a holiday break or just a day off is a little easier than the second day. I don’t really know WHY, but the first day back I can usually bounce right up as if I am a real morning person. By the second day, I’m back to wishing for a coffee IV. Today is the second day after a break and I’m feeling it. I didn’t sleep well last night, for some reason. I woke up about 15 minutes before the alarm and, logically, I know the best thing I can do is get on up at that point. That wasn’t happening today. It almost felt like back in the day when I was single and working full time and would carefully time out how many times I could snooze before I would be late for work. 5:45 wake up with a “snooze” until 6am today? Ahhhh. Yes. Didn’t do one single thing to improve my lack of “get up and go” this morning, but I don’t think I could have been pried out of bed with a crowbar any sooner than I had to be this morning. And now here I sit, writing this blog post that probably makes very little sense because I don’t even have a full grasp on what day it is. Where’s a hashtag for mom life when you need one anyway?

Do you ever have those days? Some days I feel like I’ve got this. I am on top of things, I’m owning it. Other days? Days that start like TODAY? I totally feel like I’m phoning it in and just cruising on autopilot. I have a feeling that most of us parents feel that way, right? I sometimes think that I must be the only one that feels like I’m barely holding it together sometimes, but I bet that’s not the case. Parenting is awesome and is seriously my dream job in every way, but, let’s just be real here, it’s also very hard. Being ultimately responsible for shaping the lives of other humans? Not a small thing and never to be taken lightly. So, when I’m feeling like I have it all together, I’m THANKFUL because I think those moments are affirmations that when those tough times come, we’re still hanging in there. I think the girls need to see that in me too. I think they need to have every confidence I’m giving it my all, because I am, but they also need to know that sometimes you just can’t carry it all, you can’t be everything to everybody, and you just have to keep on keeping on because another day soon comes. And, tomorrow, that other day happens to be Friday…hallelujah!

Happy THURSDAY, y’all…
Kel