One year ago today, I spent what was to be my Granddaddy’s last day on this earth with him in a hospital room in Southwest Georgia. None of us had any inkling that day would be his last, but I can see the blessing in the not knowing.
On the Sunday prior to that Wednesday, Pop (as Macey named him when she came along) sustained a broken hip which caused him to fall. Mickey and I were having coffee at church when I got the text from my mom that she and Gran were at the ER with Pop and she let me know what happened. My heart was immediately in my throat and I knew I needed to get there. Mickey was very supportive of this and we put a plan into place for him to run me home to pack and get on the road, then he would return to church and get the girls. Thankfully, our church staff is amazing and incredibly supportive and when we told our children’s director, Dolores, what was going on, she sent me on my way, assured me all was fine and they would call Mickey if need be. We rushed me home, I threw all kinds of things into a suitcase and I was on the road. I called some friends who were also very encouraging and supportive and offered to take up any slack they could for me in my absence. (Thank God for friends you can call to stand in the gap. Amen?) When I arrived at the ER, close to three hours later, he was still there – waiting to be moved to a room. He was uncomfortable, but the pain was being managed. As always, he was a trooper. I told him he sure did go to great lengths to get me to come see him – we always had an element of fun to our relationship and this was no exception.
Pop was taken for surgery to repair the hip the next day. We knew it was risky going in, but Gran felt, and we all agreed, including Pop, that it was only right to give him a shot at coming back and being mobile. We were with him before surgery and he was ready to go – just like always, being brave and facing what life had for him with faith. He came through the surgery just fine. His BP took its time coming back up, so he spent time in PACU, but he stabilized and woke up that evening. True to Pop form, he said he believed the worst was behind him and he would start getting better. That’s just how he was. He wasn’t a man to complain and he wasn’t a man to stay down either. There was work to be done and he was set to go about it to get better.
I was with him that Wednesday, two days after surgery. It was my day to stay at the hospital all day so Gran and Mama could rest and Gran would take the night shift. As I said at the beginning of this post, I truly TRULY see the blessing in not knowing it was my sweet Granddaddy’s last day with us. I feel that I would have tried too hard or made too much of it or messed it all up if I had known. As it was, we had a good day — just the two of us. He loved watching his western channel at home, so I got out my iPad and cued up “Hondo” (gotta love John Wayne) on Netflix. He didn’t get far into that before PT came and moved him for the first time. We worked together and he got to the chair where he rested for a good while. Lunch came and he picked at it — mostly only eating his ice cream which was his favorite! He had settled in for a nap and I was HUNGRY, so I tried to quietly open a package of M&Ms so I wouldn’t wake him up. Well, he was like a kid when it came to candy and he, sure as day, heard that candy wrapper. “Whatcha eatin’, Boo?” I told him and I asked if he wanted some and the answer, of course was…”Yea.” So, we shared those M&Ms. Like we have shared many a treat before in our times together. My dear friend Sammi brought me Chick-Fil-A later for lunch, but he didn’t want that — I guess because it wasn’t ice cream or chocolate. 😉 We had to get him back to the bed, which was hard on him, but he did it. We had to do bed and gown changes which, again, was HARD and painful, but he did it. We worked together and I saw hit grit and determination shine through. We also had some quiet times and just some time to be together. He told me so many times that day how much he appreciated me being there and I told him it was where I wanted to be and that I love him. Later in the afternoon, I got a special shower cap from the hospital that is warmed in the microwave and put on the head to wash the hair. Oh, he loved that! I told him I was getting him all fixed up for his woman to come see him later. When Gran arrived, I stayed awhile — not wanting to leave, for some reason. I finally left and went to meet my mom for dinner. When I was not far into their county, I saw a shooting star. I haven’t seen one in ages and I let it remind me to say a prayer right then and there.
Not long after midnight, I got the call from Gran — go get my mom and come to the hospital, Pop wasn’t breathing. I don’t remember much about getting dressed, but I got to my mom’s and woke her up and we got to the hospital as quickly as we could. He was already gone. He went peacefully. And, that, also, in its own way, is a blessing. He didn’t struggle, he didn’t suffer and he didn’t linger on in pain — he had a peaceful passing from here into eternity in heaven. Our hearts were and ARE broken, but we have peace knowing Pop was a faithful man and knowing that, as Scripture say, we grieve with hope.
One year ago today, I spent that last day with one of the great loves of my life. The man who took me deer hunting with him knowing he wasn’t going to get a shot when I had snacks in the deer stand with us. The man who taught me to swim underwater in his pond and let my brother and me try to sink an aluminum boat in that same pond. The man who helped me learn to drive. The man who always and forever called me “Boo” or “Kel” and who I can’t really recall calling me “Kelly” — ever. The man who loved hearing stories about our girls and delighted in their antics. The man I grew up calling Granddaddy…then Jack…then Pop. I will always treasure that day. And I am thankful that it wasn’t more or less than it was, it was just right.
Tomorrow will be a year since we lost him and I miss him every day more than words can express. I’m so thankful that God chose me to be Jack Parks’ granddaughter. I’m so blessed and I look forward to that heavenly reunion one day.
I love you always, JJ…
Boo