Welcome to my fourth installment in the “What’s a 2 To Do?” series here on my Coffee with Kel blog. I hope that y’all are finding this series helpful if you are a Two and informative if you’re another Enneagram number. I also hope that whatever your Enneagram number, you are inspired to dig deeper into it and to identify your strengths and challenges to be your best, healthiest and happiest self.
This week I want to talk about self-care because I know that us Twos aren’t always the greatest at making this happen. Life is busy, we find ourselves immersed in doing all the things, we go and go and give and give and…then…bam… we are just DONE. The point at which we hit the proverbial wall varies for every individual, but I believe that it’s basically inevitable to avoid burnout if we don’t take time for self-care. We all need to rest and recharge. This is where it’s important that we prioritize self-care and it’s also where we remember from last week to have and hold onto healthy boundaries AND to say no when we need to. In order for us to honor being the helper that a Two is by nature, we have to take care of ourselves too. As the saying goes – you cannot pour from an empty cup.
So, first things first…let’s get this stated boldly – SELF-CARE IS NOT SELFISH!
I promise I’m not yelling above, friends. I’m cheering us on in this! Self-care…is…not…selfish!! If anyone tries to ever make you feel guilty for taking time for yourself, then you know what I’m going to say. Boundaries! The ones who love us and value us will actually want us to be taking the best care of ourselves too. No one who truly appreciates any of us wants to see us depleted. In order to keep shining in our intrinsic nature, we need to be healthy, rested and replenished. So, how can we do this? The honest answer is that there isn’t just one answer. Self-care looks different ways to different people. But, here are some generalized ideas on self-care for Twos.
Self-Care can look like…
- Saying no when you need to. I’m repeating this, but as a hardcore Two, I feel it in my soul. Sometimes we need to say no because we don’t have any availability. Sometimes we need to say no because we’ve been taken advantage of in some way. Sometimes we need to say no because we are tired and need a break. Sometimes we need to say no because something is just not in our wheelhouse. The bottom line is – sometimes, we just need to say NO. And we need to own that no as the good thing that it can be when we need it. Further, we don’t owe an explanation with the no. Taking care of yourself means recognizing when you have the power of no when you need to alongside the power of yes when you want to.
- Maintaining boundaries. Y’all knew I was going to go with this one next, didn’t you? It’s true though. Please don’t ever feel guilty or wrong for establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries when you need them. The only people who get mad at you for having healthy boundaries are people who want more of your time and energy than you need to give them. Well all need good, healthy boundaries in our lives.
- Quiet time. I like to take time each day to just be quiet. I will often use this time in the evenings to do my Bible study, soak and read in the bathtub and just chill by myself. I have to give it to my family, they get that I need this and they are gracious in giving me that time. That’s not to say they don’t occasionally pop in, but it’s just that they know I need the time and they are great with it. As much of a people person as I am, I still need this quiet time daily.
- Doing something nice for yourself. The opportunities here are endless. Us Twos tend to be givers, so when you think of giving for others, sometimes be sure to give to yourself. Treat yourself to a drive-thru overpriced coffee drink, get that pair of shoes you have had your eye on, go for a massage, enjoy every little second of a hair appointment. The list could go on and on because this varies by person and we all have things that we like. I’m not saying go on a self spending spree every week, but I am saying to treat yourself now and again…just because.
- Get enough sleep. This one is key for me. Not only am I a 2W3, but I am big time over-thinker. For some reason, my mind loves to go into GO mode when it is time to go to sleep. Quiet time before bedtime helps that, as do supplements such as magnesium citrate and L-theanine. When I am well-rested, I feel better and when I feel better, I feel more like me. We need our rest, that’s just a fundamental fact.
Truly, the list of how we can care for ourselves cannot be summed up in one simple blog post. You know what you need, so I encourage you not to backburner that, but to take care of your own needs just like you take care of others, Twos. Others matter, but so do you. Don’t forget that.
Be Happy & Healthy, Y’all…