Coffee with Kel

Building relationships, encouraging hope

Kids

Leaving a legacy…

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A few weeks ago, I got to attend the Volunteer Leadership Conference put on by the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation. The conference was held here in Atlanta this year which was nice for us locals. I got to meet many new people from all across the country who are all united by a common goal – working together to help cure the kids. It was a wonderful weekend and I enjoyed every bit of it.

One of the people I got to meet at the VLC was a man named Bobby Newman. I had heard about Bobby from my coworker and dear friend Tammy. She met Bobby previously and had had given her one of his hand-made bells which she often wears to clinic visits. So, this year I got to meet Bobby and right off the bat I could tell he was a genuinely kind and faithful person. When we first met, as I often do, I asked how he was doing. Bobby’s answer, which I have come to find out he was known for, was…”I am blessed.” I liked that because it wasn’t the standard answer of “I’m fine” AND it was genuine. Bobby lived serving a mighty God and he knew that he was, in fact, blessed. As we chatted, he gave me one of his bells. Well, that thrilled me because I really wanted one because I knew he handmade them AND I knew the story behind them. I got him to tell me the story again. He told me that every time the bell chimes, it’s a reminder of God’s love for us. AND, he went on to say that every bell has its own individual chime sound which is also a reminder of how God made each and every one of us unique. Isn’t that so cool? I just love it! And, I loved my bell! That evening he went on to give bells to our Stars (brain tumor survivors) who attended a dinner at the event. Our sweet friend Anna is blind now as a result of her tumor and surgery and when Bobby gave her a bell, the joy she felt in receiving it was beautifully evident on her face. I have a photo of the two of them together and their smiles are just incredible! He was living out his calling and she was the recipient of a magnificent gift from a truly amazing soul. It was a great moment and I felt honored to be there to witness it.

On Friday, Bobby was posting on Facebook that he was out visiting dealerships for Ride for Kids. He had such a passion for the mission of Ride for Kids and it was evident. He would post after each dealer visit and it was fun “watching” his daily travels on Facebook. He even took the time that day to share a story that Anna’s mom had shared on Anna’s FB prayer page and wrote some very nice things about Anna in his post. I didn’t know that would be the last time I would “like” something that Bobby wrote, but it was. He was killed in an accident on Friday. Anna’s mom, who is a dear friend, texted me to look on Facebook because our bell making Santa friend had died. Neither of us could believe it. He was taken way too soon, in my opinion, but nothing takes our God by surprise. Bobby received his heavenly homecoming while he was out doing something near and dear to his heart. And doing, what I believe, was a calling on his life by God. He was adding on to his legacy until his last minute on this earth.

Today, my buddy Bobby will be laid to rest in Indiana. I can’t be there to pay my respects in person, but I will continue to keep his family and loved ones in my prayers. And, I will treasure my handmade bell all the more. I have put it on my key-chain for now so that it will chime often to remind me of God’s love for me AND to remind me to keep driving toward my own passions for helping others just like Bobby did.

All of this got me thinking on a number of levels, but one was this — what will my legacy be? Bobby’s legacy is one of strong faith, deep convictions, and an abiding love for family and friends. He lived his calling. And, that’s what I want my life to be about too. When I fly away from here, I want to be remembered with smiles and if you really know me — with laughter. I want to live out my life in such a way that it’s evident that I have faith in God that I try to exemplify even though I’m flawed. I want to be remembered one day as someone who genuinely and truly LOVED her family and her friends. I want to be a champion for kids who battle cancer and especially kids who battle brain tumors. And, I don’t mean champion as in I want it to be about me. Not at all. What I mean is, I want to be someone who gets in there and fights the good fight against childhood cancer and comes alongside families with support. That’s what I mean there. I want my life to mean something. I want to leave the world better than I found it. Just like my friend Bobby left this world. It’s a better place because he was in it, for sure. He touched lives for the good.

I know that life is but a vapor. I know some days we don’t have our best to give. But, the building of a legacy is more than just a day. It’s a lifetime well lived. It’s building the memory of who we were based on who we ARE in the time we have. My prayer is that my life and legacy will point heavenward. More than anything, I want to be salt and light for Jesus in this world. Through the cracks and flaws, I hope He shows through me and my life’s works.

Rest in peace, Bobby. I am sure heavens bells are ringing a little sweeter now that you’re there.

Kelly

FullSizeRender

The bell Bobby gave me is on my key-chain
right next to my cross. 

The Haps…

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Okay…dumb blog title, but I’m cutting myself some slack because I couldn’t think of anything more creative at the time I sat down to finally update.

So, some good things are happening around here lately…

  • Mickey and I rocked out and completed our first Whole 30! We haven’t gone off the wagon yet, either. He’s had a little piece of candy Macey saved for him, but only ONE, and we have both tried a little reintro of cheese, but we are mostly sticking to plan. Last Tuesday (February 2nd) was Day 30 and I’m so proud of us for making it all the way and beyond! I cannot say enough about how beneficial this has been for both of us. W30 isn’t supposed to be about weight loss, but I’ll say that’s a nice little perk. Besides that, we’ve both had an upswing in overall energy, clearer skin, far less snoring (not me!), no headaches in weeks, and MORE. Also, a big shout out to Mickey because he not only did all of this, but he went so far as to cut his caffeine habit completely which, frankly, is a serious accomplishment. I’ll be perfectly honest and say that it’s not the easiest thing to start, but once you’re rolling it gets easier. The keys, I really believe, are to be over prepared with your food and recipes and to have good support.
  • One of my 2016 goals was to experience some firsts this year and I’ve done some of that already. In January, I attended my first volunteer leadership conference with my job. Sure, it was work, but it was AMAZING and was a first for me! Just last week I had another first in that I treated myself to a salon hair cut and color and went with some purple highlights. LOVE it and so glad I took a chance on that first. Firsts can be totally fun. I’m digging this firsts thing.
  • I’m also working on my goal of being more intentional this year. I’m not just saying “Hey, let’s get together sometime”, but I’m saying “Hey, let’s have brunch. How’s Thursday?” It doesn’t always work out, but putting the intentions into action have been good and have given me some good family and friend time already this year, with more in the works.
  • I recently read Nobody’s Cuter Than You: A Memoir About the Beauty of Friendship by Melanie Shankle and looooooved it. It was just what I needed to read and I highly recommend it for friends. Seriously, get yourself a copy of this book today if you haven’t ready it already — it is just THAT good. I have honestly never read Melanie’s blog* but I probably should since I enjoyed her book so much. And I’ll pick up others of her’s too!  (*Sorry, Melanie, if you ever randomly stumble upon this blog…which won’t happen, but…just in case. Gotta have my manners in place.)
  • We recently had a little family retreat to a cabin in the mountains in North Georgia. It was a sweet little cabin, just perfect for us, and secluded. Ahhh!! We had plans to maybe hike or make a bonfire or all sorts of things, but the main thing we did was have some R&R which, honestly, was just right. We also went to see the band I am They in concert which was great!! If you haven’t given them a listen yet, let me recommend them too.

So, that’s the basics of what’s going on around here lately. Plus, I mean, work and school, trying to keep up with laundry and housekeeping (and failing like crazy), while maintaining what little shred of normalcy we can muster. In other words…life is good.

Best,
Kelly

Just a few pics this time.

A side view of my new ‘do. Can you see the purple?
purple

The view from the front door of the cabin:

cabin_view

 

Mickey and me before the I am They concert:
honey

Our girls before the concert:
girlies

Go Beyond Awareness

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So, today is September 30. Which, can we just take a second and reflect on how quickly September passed by us? Or was that just me? Seriously, September got up out in a hurry. Whew! The girls had a (glorious) week long break from school in mid-September, so that surely contributed to the swiftness of the days ticking off, I’m sure. Anyway. It’s almost gone now, only hours left. And, thus will end “Childhood Cancer Awareness Month” for 2014. BUT, it doesn’t have to stop here, y’all. Awareness is okay, but  it’s really not enough. Let’s help by going beyond aware and doing more. How? Well, I’m of limited knowledge, admittedly, but I do know of some ways to help and I’m glad to share info about some amazing pediatric cancer support non-profits that I know of and know to be fully on the level with all that they do.

First of all, some stats from ACCO.org:

  • Childhood Cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in children under the age of 15 in the US.
  • Worldwide, more than 160,000 children are diagnosed with cancer each year.
  • In the US, among children from birth to age 19, more than 15,780 cases of cancer are diagnosed each year.
  • Every 40 minutes a child is diagnosed with cancer in the US.
  • The most common type of cancer in children is Leukemia.
  • One in 285 children will be diagnosed with cancer by the time they are 20 years old.

Sobering, right? I mean, really — it just socks me in the gut every time I read those statistics. And, those are just SOME of the stats. These statistics also don’t show the amazing faces and lives that go along with pediatric cancer. Those kids are beyond precious and more needs to be done for them.

Another stat that really gets to me is that less than 5% of all federal cancer research funding goes into pediatric cancer research. LESS THAN FIVE PERCENT. That’s just not okay, in my opinion. These kids need research funded for a cure. This lack of federal funding is a big motivating factor for me, personally, to feel compelled to donate to non-profit agencies that help pediatric cancer patients and their families and also help to provide much needed research money. Some of the organizations I recommend for you to check out AND donate to are:

Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation

CURE Childhood Cancer

Curing Kids Cancer

Rally Foundation 

St Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital 

Also, Children’s Healthcare of Atlanta has a Stop Childhood Cancer Alliance page with links to other charitable organizations that aid in the fight against childhood cancers.

Let me say this too, EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS. It really does. Whether you have ten bucks or a million, the money helps. This is a lesson that we’ve been teaching our own girls as we encourage them to donate, as well. They have chosen to donate to the Pediatric Brain Tumor Foundation, Georgia Chapter and have seen firsthand that even kids can donate and every bit is for the good for those that need it.

So, please — let’s don’t just be aware. Let’s be active. Odds are, you know a child that’s been affected by cancer. Maybe it’s your own child. Or maybe, like me, you’ve known and loved many that have had to be valiant warriors against horrible cancers at young ages. I don’t think any of us will go through this life not knowing a pediatric cancer patient. The statistics are staggering and I just really feel strongly that we can all pull together to help make a positive difference. If you feel lead, and I hope you do, please make a donation to one of the non-profits I listed. And, hey, if you feel further lead, do it regularly. Get involved with these agencies. Let’s get behind these kids and their families and show them that they are not in this alone. Let’s beat this cancer beast down. TOGETHER, WE CAN HELP FIND A CURE!

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Summertime Boredom Busters

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I have to say that I always look forward to summer. It’s my absolute FAVORITE time of year. What’s not to love about warmer weather, going to the pool, beach trips, relaxed schedules and MORE? Seriously, summer rocks my world.

But, along with summer comes the inevitable — summer boredom creeps in on our kids. Frankly, this baffles me to the point of me thinking it’s a phenomenon because HOW can these children today be bored with three hundred thousand (give or take) things to do around our houses. Do they not realize that when we were kids, we were playing outside except for meals and sleep times? We won’t clue them in that we got bored too. We’ll just remind them of the fact that we had far less “stuff” and forget that we played hours of Super Mario on our sweet Nintendos.

So, when summer boredom inevitably strikes at your house, what do you do? I recently posted on Facebook that the two phrases I have come to dread the most this summer are “I’m telling” and “I’m bored.” I’m working on the tattling business – in other words, don’t tattle unless you are bleeding or on fire – and I have some creative ideas for the boredom issue. I’m happy to share some ideas and I’d love to get your ideas too. Please comment with your best boredom busters.

SUMMERTIME BOREDOM BUSTERS

  • CHORES — The other day, our 7 year old complained to me that she was bored. Guess what? She learned to scrub toilets. No kidding. I put the “stuff” in the bowl and she scrubbed all three toilets in this house. Was she a fan? No. But, she learned a valuable life skill. Then, I kid y’all not, the little goober told me she was STILL bored. (insert jaw-dropping here) Are you kidding me? Okay. On to more chores. Guess what she learned to do next? She learned to clean baseboards. I gave her a spray bottle of cleaner and a rag and showed her how to clean the baseboards on the main level of our house. Another life skill learned. Check. Guess who wasn’t bored anymore? You know it was that sweet and sassy 7 year old. So, here’s the deal — don’t tell your kids, but create a list of chores they can do when they complain of being bored. Scrub toilets, clean baseboards, scoop kitty litter, sweep the deck, empty trash cans, fold towels, scrub the bath tub. I mean, the list is endless, let’s be honest.
  • Make Oobleck – I had never heard of “oobleck” in my life until recently when a friend posted about it on Facebook. So, I got on Google and discovered what it was and how to make it. So, what is it? It’s a concoction of 2 parts cornstarch to 1 part water. How do you make it? Mix the two together. I did 1 cup of cornstarch and 1/2 cup of water. The wonder of oobleck is that it’s a solid when it’s in the container and when you hold it with any pressure. BUT, if you let it just sit in your hands, it gets liquidy. The girls’ minds were blown. This is some good fun, but it’s not very clean. So, do what I didn’t do and have them play with it outside. And, by all means, don’t put it down your drain unless you just want to put a plumber to work on your drains.
  • Shaving Cream “War” –  Our girls recently had friends (who are sisters that are their ages) over for a play date and I let them have a shaving cream “war” on our trampoline AND we had the sprinkler going underneath the trampoline. I gave them each a can of good ole Barbasol and let them have at it. The only big rule was that no one could put shaving cream above anyone else’s shoulders. They were a little bit timid at first, but before long there were four girls giggling and covered in shaving cream. Good, clean fun that didn’t cost much at all.
  • Crafts Bin – We have a craft bin at our house that has all sorts of things from Perler bead sets to markers to felt sheets to googly eyes to pipe cleaners and MORE. This is great to have, especially on rainy days.
  • Geocaching – This is an activity that can be fun for the whole family. We got the official app and even though it was more than I would normally shell out for an app, I’ll be the first to say it was worth it. We’ve done one “big” family geocach and had a blast. We spent a Saturday going around our area looking for caches and at the end of the day the girls turned them in for prize packs. Geocaching opportunities are available all over the world, so check out the site and the app to see what’s in your area.

Of course, we have other activities to battle boredom too. We go to the pool, we go out for fro-yo, we have play dates and sleepovers, we hit up local parks and so forth. What are YOUR favorite ways to combat boredom?

Have a great summer,  y’all…
Kelly

Natural Consequences

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First of all, I wanted to offer my heartfelt THANKS to those of you that posted on my FB, left a comment here, texted or emailed to let me know you are praying for my Gran and family. That means a lot to me. I truly believe that there is power and peace in prayer, so I appreciate every prayer offered by friends and family.

Now, on to today’s blog post. Natural consequences.

Mickey and I have been working on teaching the girls about natural consequences. We believe that this is a good method of teaching valuable life lessons – when taught within reason, of course. For instance, we are teaching them that if they don’t eat what they have for meals, they will probably be pretty hungry when the next meal rolls around again. This teaches a few things, actually. One, Mama is not a short-order cook and this is not Waffle House. If you don’t eat what I’m serving, well, you’re going to have to wait until the next meal to see if you like that one better. We’re also teaching the girls how blessed they are to have three good meals (not to mention snacks) per day. This seems to be working well because although neither of our daughters are what I would label as “adventurous eaters”, they will definitely try what we are having at mealtimes. To be honest, I don’t cook much of anything that is extravagant anyway. So, when I prepare a meal, I expect them at try it and I always make things that I truly believe our whole family will like. If they choose not to eat much of it, then they know that they won’t get anything until it’s time to eat again. To me, that’s a good natural consequence. They certainly won’t starve, right? It’s all about keeping things within reason. We wouldn’t turn them loose into a crowded parking lot in some ridiculous effort to teach them the natural consequence of THAT, but we will certainly use natural consequences when appropriate.

As simplistic as this seems, as I was thinking recently about natural consequences, it occurred to me that God lets us operate on natural consequences as well. The choices we make that are of this world warrant us the rewards or consequences of the world. If we choose to do that which is right and faithful, the reward is our’s. If we choose to deviate from the path of faithfulness, we suffer the consequences. Pretty simple, right? I think that on the surface, it seems simple, but, like anything with faith, it goes far deeper. Because God allows us free will, we have these choices to make and we aren’t always going to make the right ones. Try as we might, we are all bound to fail in our humanness. It just happens. Just like we do with our children, God allows us to experience natural consequences in life so that we might learn and grow. However, while we are training our children to eventually be independent of us, God is always calling us to drawer nearer to Him and depend more fully on Him. Even when we fail Him, God is always faithful to us. It’s out of love for us that He allows us to make choices and give us opportunities to learn and grow from the choices we make.

Using natural consequences as a parenting tool is a model that we feel will benefit our girls in many ways. We want to instill an anchor of faith for them so that as they grow and make choices in their lives, they are equipped to make faithful decisions for themselves. This won’t always be the case, but as long as we have taught them well, they will have a faith basis on which to grow and learn. So, while it starts with something as simple as choosing to eat a meal and be thankful for it, hopefully this will bloom into life lessons that carry them through with faith.

Blessings,
Kelly

 

Direct your children onto the right path,
and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Proverbs 22:6